Otherness jokes

A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,

"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.

How'd she burn the other side? They called back.

Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.

P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?

P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?

P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).

P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*

What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?

For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.

Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.

I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.

What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!

When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.

Why do nuns walk in groups?

So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".

Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, "I want h20." The other said, "I want h20, too." The second scientist died.

The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.

It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.

One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".

The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."

What did the octopus say to the other? "Let’s hold hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands."

A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.

The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"

What did the toilet say to the other toilet? "You look a bit flushed."

Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?

What did one orphan say to the other orphan?

"Robin! Jump in the Batmobile."

So the coach got mad at me because I'm the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum, and I was just keeping the ball to myself. The coach pulled me aside and said, "Pass to others." I said, "Why?" And he said, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I said, "Yeah, but there's an 'm' and an 'e.'"

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other side.

If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

Big hands.