Otherness jokes
What's the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?
One will make your day, and the other will make your hole weak.
Q: There were two tampons walking down the road the other day. Guess what they said to each other?
A: Nothing, 'cause they're both stuck-up cunts.
Me: Brings in missing child.
Police: OMG this kid has been missing for 3 months. Here is your reward.
Me: Oh, cool.
NEXT DAY
Me: Brings in 8 other kids.
Police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla? One of them is fat and hairy, while the other one has a functional brain (the gorilla, of course).
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!
There are only 2 things I hate in this world:
1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.
Two men are walking down the street and see a dog licking its balls. One man says, "I wish I could do that." The other one says, "You can probably just pet him."
Two wind turbines were standing on a hill.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other one says, "I'm a big metal fan."
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
What did one depressed kid say to the other?
Hey, wanna hang together?
Why did the plane cross the road? To get to the other tower.
What did the orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get into the Batmobile, Robin."
What did the orphan say to the other? "Quickly Robin, to the Batmobile!"
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and SpongeBob's Sandy Cheeks?
One is living in a bubble, the other one in rubble.
when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)
-> in reality, :( (sob)
depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.
Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.
So, a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
Two windmills were standing in a wind farm. One asked, "What's your favorite type of music?" The other one replied... "I'm a big metal fan."