Otherness Jokes

Whats a pirates favourite key on the key board

Others: r

Rrrr you would think so but it be the C

what did the skeleton say to the other wow that song spooky scary skeletons really does send chills down my spine

So I went to the binoculars shop the other day, tell you what, they saw me coming.

The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.

It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.

I saw an orphan crying the other day, so I ask, "where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage:)

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One screems when you out it in a blender and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.

I met a rock the other day. He was a very gneiss guy.

I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.

Me: What did one toilet say to the other? You: What? Me: You look flushed!

Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists?

They are also forcing themselves on others.

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

The boy licked his cone and replied:

"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"

So the other day i saw a child in a wheelchair

he was getting bullied alot so i came up

And said why dont you stand up to those bullies

Why'd the orphan cross the road? He was told his parents were on the other side.

What is the difference between a nerd and leafyishere?

One is fun to laugh at, bully, and roast, and the other is just a nerd.

What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert??

One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch

a man died with an erection. the three nurses in the morgue saw this the first nurse climbs on and rides him. the second nurse dose the same the third hesitates saying "i'm on my period." the others say its ok hes dead so she rides him to. when she's done he sits up and all the nurses ask how hes alive he replies i'm good to go after the two jumpstarts and blood transfusion

Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”

Some people ask why jokes exist, I say when a mommy and daddy love each other very much they have sex and they make another one of you

I always hated being born a catholic as a kid, the way you have to keep kneeling down, bending over and standing up all within a few minutes of each other while at church, I was always thinking “for God’s sake just pick a position and fuck me”