Otherness jokes

Hunter

    • Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his gaze is blank. The other hunter grabs his phone and calls emergency services: "My friend is dead! What do I do?"

    The emergency dispatcher replies: "Calm down. I can help you. First, make sure he's really dead."

    Silence on the other end, then a gunshot. Back on the phone, the hunter asks: "Okay, now what?"

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    • Guy

    • Two guys were walking down the street, and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any blond in the world into giving him a blowjob, any blond!

    So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said, "Alright, let's see it!"

    The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, "Hi, my name's Dave, and my doctor just told me that if I didn't get a blowjob from a blond within three hours, the disease I have will kill me in, oh, let's see now, 22 minutes!"

    She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says, "Pull it out!"

    Ten minutes later, the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out!

    So he walks over to her and says, "I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friend's life?!"

    So she looks up at him just crying her eyes out even worse and says, "I could have saved my dad!"

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    • Otherness memes

    Boob

    • What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

    "If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."

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    • Display

    • So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"

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    • Milk

    • Man: Cow milk is drinkable.

    Other man: How do you know that?

    Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*

    Other man: John...h-how do you know that!

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    • Train

    • Three blondes were taking a walk when they stumbled on some tracks. They argued on what the tracks came from. One of them said, "it's a deer." The other said, "No it's a coyote." The last one was going to give her thoughts, but that was when the train hit them.

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    • Nun

    • Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.

    One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."

    The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."

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    • Morbid jokes

    • a man died with an erection. the three nurses in the morgue saw this the first nurse climbs on and rides him. the second nurse dose the same the third hesitates saying "i'm on my period." the others say its ok hes dead so she rides him to. when she's done he sits up and all the nurses ask how hes alive he replies i'm good to go after the two jumpstarts and blood transfusion

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    • Windmill

    • Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

    One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

    Guy

    • Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.

    The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!

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    • Honey

    • The teacher said she made the kids guess what a random word was, and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier.

    Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, "I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!"

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    • Kid

    • When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,

    other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."

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