Oral Sex jokes

Why can't lesbians wear makeup while on a diet?

Because they can't eat Jenny Craig while Mary Kay is sitting on their face.

What’s the best thing about a blowjob?

The ten minutes of silence.

What’s the difference between a nun and a hooker?

One kneels for salvation.

The other kneels with salivation.

What did one sperm say to the other while swimming side by side?

One turns to the other and asks, "How much further to the fallopian tubes?"

The other says, "I’m not sure, we just passed the esophagus."

What’s the best part about having sex with a pregnant woman?

You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.

Did you know "bj" ends with "job" because if you are giving a man a blow job, it sucks? But if you’re giving it to a woman, it's called "eating out" because it’s a privilege.

What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.

What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?

Special head.

What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?

Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.

What do you call two Chinese lesbians?

Two can't chew.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.

Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.

My girlfriend gave me the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.

Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.

He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."

What is it that gay men can't get from having too much oral sex?

Erectile dysfunction.

Why are vegetarians so good at giving head? Because they’re used to having nuts in their mouth.

If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?

What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.

You've heard of anal sex.

You've heard of oral sex.

You've heard of genital sex.

But have you ever heard of NASAL SEX?

If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.