OR jokes
How do you keep a homophobic heterosexual man that is a minister and a Christian nationalist with blond hair in suspense?
Wait until Christmas to take away his church's tax-exempt status or he will call the ACLU.
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
I don't know, go google it.
Did you fall from heaven? Or did you fall from the cliff up there?
Why did little Susie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms or legs.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Susie.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone.
It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
I either added you because we have shit tons of mutuals, or 'cause I'd let you spit alcohol in my mouth.
I'll let you decide.
There are some questionable candies out there, such as:
"All I want is a good Blow Pop."
"I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."
"If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."
"Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."
"Or adopt Three Musketeers."
"Or even end up with a Sour Patch."
What's brown and sticky? A stick with poop on it.
Or a stick with poo on it.
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him, "Go big or go home," he/she only had one option.
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
How do you know you are blessed by God?
You don’t laugh at, make light of, or enjoy the evils and suffering people are inflicting on themselves and upon each other.
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.
How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?
A: Snowballs.
This joke is short, or is it 🍭 that your LOL lipop?
Y'uree: Bruh... listen... gangbang... sex... the same.
Halyei: Hello Y'uree and Jarod. How are you guys today?
Y'uree: Well, sexy girls like you should be ass-fucked or fucked so hard that all you can do is talk or nothing at all?
Halyei: Thank you, I suck dicks too!
Jarod: Are you Breya???
Halyei: No... do I look like that flying bastard???
Jarod: Ugh... no... baby, you're free to go!
Halyei: Sorry, I miss cursing and having sex with her too! Sorry for being an idiot. I really miss her. Maybe you and I can give her a threesome??? No, I'm not gay! WHY!!!!!!! Can you come to the please fuck me! It's the fuckable girls contest and I want to win! Sorry!
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Guilty or not guilty?
Today was like every other day. It was so terribly long and so terribly dreary. I fear these feelings will never end. I’ll always feel so dark, feel so hopeless. Sometimes all I want is for it to end. For all of it to end, for all of my thoughts to end. I despise the way that always comes to mind. But I feel so lost, feel so hopeless. If something would just work. But nothing has worked. Nothing can fix this. These feelings will pass. These days won't feel so endless... or so absolutely heavy. Just give it some time. Just give it some hope... and some belief. The ‘happy pills’ will work. The doctor says they'll help... they'll help it go away. Just dump the pill in your hand. Let yourself place the little white thing on your tongue... Let yourself throw your head back and swallow. It'll make this better. It should make me feel better.
Everything has changed! The world is so bright— The world is so loud! I don’t know how I never noticed! The sun is so warm— The grass is so green! I feel so awake! I feel so content— I feel so happy! It’s so strange! I’m not anxious— I’m not overthinking! I guess those pills really worked! I think I’m really getting better— I think I’m really going to be happy!
Why can't we see or sense kamikazes' bombs?
They're out of plane sight.