OR jokes

Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?

My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).

Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?

Who would win in a race, Stephen Hawking or a turtle?

The turtle, because it can walk.

Grass is green. I am the queen. If only I can see you scream on the screen.

Things that rhyme with green, queen, screen: clean, between, been, ...

What falls quicker off a tree? The leaf or the emo?

The leaf, because the emo is stopped by the rope.

What fell first, the emo kid or the leaf? The leaf, 'cause the emo kid just hung.

Emo people are like other emo people, they're emo. Laugh now or I'll cut your eyes out. Tee hee!

What hit the floor first, the emo or the apple? The apple, the rope stopped the emo.

Hello worstjokesever.com, I am not typing but instead using a microphone to speech, ding me a period.

I don’t see what’s coming up, but I don’t know why I am sending, so it will be random or funny or just stupid, LOL. So like and subscribe and...

Hello, I am Alan Shawn Feinstein. I would like to know who the owner of this website "worstjokesever.com" is.

I am interested in buying this website. Please respond to me in the comments or email me. Thank you, and keep doing good things.

What are two things you could call a fart?

"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"

What did the 19-year-old say to the 12-year-old?

Wanna play Mario Smash Bros without Mario or his bros?

What do you call a dictionary on drugs?

High definition or addictionary.

Don't adopt people, or else your parents are gonna say you're ACTUALLY adopted, k thx. No jokes anymore, bye.

Would it be wrong of me to yell “Jenga!” or “Timber!” while my class is watching a 9/11 documentary?

I was at school with friends. One of my friends had hair in her armpits. The rest of my friends and I tried not to laugh or say anything, until one of my friends laughed and told her she had hair in her armpits, so she ran to her locker to get hair remover and went to one of the restroom stalls.

My childhood tormentor was at school. I walked through so I could get to class.

And then he said, "Hey, you donkey!"

I said, "Thank you, I'm so happy that I'm something, not nothing like you!" And I gave him a pink lollipop. He walked off. And I became popular. Or should I say, Lolli-Popular? Sorry.

My girlfriend is so fat that when she runs or walks, she falls, so I am breaking up with you.

🙍🏼‍♀️Fat girlfriend: Nooo, don’t leave me, catch me, ahhh!

🙇🏼‍♀️Fat girlfriend falls on boyfriend: Ahhhhhh *dump*

🙇🏼‍♀️🙇🏼Fat girlfriend and boyfriend: Fat girlfriend: U didn’t catch me wawawawa. Boyfriend: Get off me, 900 pounds, ugh, I hate u!

Story done. Please like.

Ok, so I know most or all of you guys hate me, and that's fine. You guys most likely know me as a horrible person, which I don't know where you would hear that from.

And finally, I am truly a good person; you just need to know me better. The only reason I fought Tina and Jack was because I was trying to be nice to another guy. Then I realized what side I should have been on. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just I'm sorry, and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else, I think all are nice people; they just stick up for each other, and that's what I realized. So if you still hate me, it's fine; I'll be leaving this app soon, maybe. Hate makes me sad, even though I use it, but I know what was wrong. I want to join the good side, so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.

Would you rather:

Fight Mike Tyson

Or

Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?