One jokes

I was walking and I saw a girl crying, and she told me to take her dollhouse and I asked why. She said because I don't have one.

I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!

One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.

A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?

The feather, because the rope stopped the child.

Hi guys, I feel forgotten lol. I feel like a banana peel... no one will talk to me. Oh, I got a good idea! We do a Google Meet!

What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.

One day I went to smoke weed with some Mexicans, but they ran away when I asked if they had papers.

The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.

When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"

Why can’t orphans have sex?

They have no one to call "daddy."

What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?

One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.

Do you have a halo, cause I can give you one.

A couple and their friends were riding their tricycle, and one wheel fell off. They discussed what to do, and finally the friend said, "Why don't you just use me?" The boyfriend said, "Why did I not think of using the third wheel?"

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.

The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.

Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”

Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...

It's a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.

What is the one word orphans don’t know? Homework.

What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven

Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere

Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.

Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”

Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.