One jokes

Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.

I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)

How do terrorists feed their children?

"Here comes the aeroplane!"

"And here comes the second one!"

What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.

What has four legs and one arm? A doberman at the playground.

What is the difference between the government and organized crime?

Only one of them is organized.

I got a part in a movie called "Cocaine." I only have one line.

A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.

The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."

The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."

The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.

What is the difference between a Mexican maid and a Jewish maid?

One of them won’t clean the oven.

What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.

Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.

What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?

One of them has a POINT:)

What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.

Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

To get to the second-hand store!

I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.

Here are some rules to make a good joke:

1: Don't say “my life.”

2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.

3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).

Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈

Bin Laden promised 76 virgins to Al-Qaeda.

Instead, there was one 76-year-old virgin.

This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.

One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."