One jokes
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
Q. What did one Iron atom say to the other Iron atom?
A. "We're in the Matrix."
I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.
Tell me a joke about my hairline.
No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.
Danny Devito looks like one of those men with a short, yet thick penis.
What's the difference between a gynecologist and a genealogist?
One looks up the family tree, and the other looks up the family bush.
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
Celebrate-By- watersharky Productions and Pitbull- Mr. Worldwide Let's celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. We've been around the world, same song. Work hard, play hard, all day long. All the continents get jealous over me. You can see me 3D overseas. If you know me then you know where to find me Off in the Bahamas with a bad one behind me. Now live it up, live it up, live it up Baby pick it up, pick it up, pick it up And we gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play We gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. Turn it up Turn it up I've been patiently waiting for you to shake and shake it Make it or take it The point is we made it Courted by the game, call us Tom Brady And it's not our fault that we have all the ladies But it's hard to see these ladies when your middle name's Equator All around the globe, matter fact see your later They're great, we're great at world war, dominators And we're also some smooth operators, and we gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom That's the way we like to play We gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. Turn it up Turn it up Live it up (Live it up), don't let life live you (Live you) It's a good time (Good time), so we give you (Give you) Now live it up, live it up, live it up, live it up, live it up What you wanna do? I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. Turn it up Let's celebrate. Turn it up Let's celebrate.
What makes a nuke and divorce the same?
It only takes one of each to end your life.
We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than grandpa.
1+1? Too hard.
We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
Why do orphans miss every hit? Because no one is cheering for them.
What did one nut say to the other nut?
A: "Candice deez nuts fit in my mouth."
Two boys are wandering in the woods, playing games.
Suddenly, they come across a naked lady, and one of the boys starts running. The other chases after him and asks: "Why did you start running?"
The boy replies with: "My mom said if I ever see a naked lady, then I would turn to stone. And I can already feel a part of me turning hard."
What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
This picture is for bras! Comment or not and go to each one and comment! And go!
One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.
The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.
Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"