One jokes
I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."
Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
I was going to talk about your chin, but I wasn't sure which one to write about.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.
What did one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Robin! Jump in the Batmobile."
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.
I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.
So the coach got mad at me because I'm the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum, and I was just keeping the ball to myself. The coach pulled me aside and said, "Pass to others." I said, "Why?" And he said, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I said, "Yeah, but there's an 'm' and an 'e.'"
What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.
The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand store!
I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.
Here are some rules to make a good joke:
1: Don't say “my life.”
2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.
3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).