One jokes

If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

Big hands.

What has four legs and one arm? A doberman at the playground.

My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.

What is the difference between a Mexican maid and a Jewish maid?

One of them won’t clean the oven.

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)

I love all races, even the bad ones.

Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!

What did one gay sperm say to the other? "You think we’ll find the egg and all this shit?"

What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.

Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.

What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?

One of them has a POINT:)

What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.

Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

To get to the second-hand store!

I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.

Here are some rules to make a good joke:

1: Don't say “my life.”

2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.

3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).

Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈

Bin Laden promised 76 virgins to Al-Qaeda.

Instead, there was one 76-year-old virgin.

This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."

How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?

One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.

...just kidding-

- none. They can't change anything.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.