One jokes
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
One day, the milkman came to drop off milk.
The boy asked the milkman, "Do you know where my dad is?"
The milkman replies, "I am your dad," then runs off like Batman!
Okay, okay, so one day I was on the way home, and this kid said, "Man, I could kick your butt." Five seconds later, I kicked his butt.
I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!
There has to be someone that hates watersharky. He curses at you if you say one thing about his friends or him. He just is mean and needs to leave.
What’s the difference between a boomerang and an orphan's parents?
One of the two actually came back.😂
A farmer had a donkey and a dog. One night, he was getting robbed by a thief. The donkey told the dog to bark, but the dog refused. So the donkey brayed very loudly, and the thief ran out of the house, and the farmer beat up the donkey.
Why can't orphans go on vacation?
The last time they did, they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out. Ugh!
Kyler, go on this one.
Hey Alya and JK Master, how are you guys doing? No one being an ass to you guys today, right? If so, I'll beat them up :)
My dad went out with Nemo one day to the store. They still haven't come back.
"My sister said she was the only smart one in the class."
"What about the teacher you learn *from*?"
One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."
A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"
Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."
Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"
So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.
But don't worry, he is all right now.
Two Arabs are swapping jokes. One cracks up and yells, "Man, that joke was an absolute blast!"
I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)
Symptoms of Schizophrenia
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Having survived a severe injury in my past, I'm kind of glad paramedics didn't succeed in bringing the United Healthcare CEO back.
I was suffering so bad I got delirious and thought that the nurses were putting poison in my water cup.
That CEO was so hated that one of the nurses probably WOULD have slipped him something!
My son asked me, “What is angel cake made of?”
I reply by listing the ingredients in Mr. Kipling angel cakes. Then he shouts “STOP!” I stop as I reach food colorings. He slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper, “Well, in my angel cake, I put angels in them.”
I freaked out about this, so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake. He said, “Grandma, the one who died last Saturday.”
Two muffins are sitting in a bar.
The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."
The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.