As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.
I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.
Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."
What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?
"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"
You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!
How do 4 gay guys fit on one stool at the same time?
They flip it over
Want one way to get a free haircut?
Call the cancer hotline.
I told my fam a joke.
They all looked at me weird and one person even said, "I’m sorry!"
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.
LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?
Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?
Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!
Why don't black people go on cruises? They're not falling for that one again.
One time I was at home alone with my dawgy, and I was eating peanut butter. I thought since it's oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part. My dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter off my private part, and my private part got big and hard. Then, white stuff came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining.
And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted, "What are you doing?" And I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, "Well, let me have a taste." And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
In middle school, we had to create words with magnet letters. Some kid laid the word "Animal Therapist". I changed one space and got sent home :/
Q: Why does Hellen Keller masturbate with only one hand? A: She moans with the other.
Batman: Arkham Knight, developed by Rocksteady Studios, is the final installment in the critically acclaimed Batman: Arkham series. Released in 2015, the game is renowned for its immersive gameplay, compelling narrative, and stunning visual design, offering players an unparalleled experience of stepping into the shoes of the iconic Dark Knight.
The game's narrative is one of its standout features. Set one year after the events of Batman: Arkham City, the story sees Batman facing the ultimate threat against Gotham City. The Scarecrow returns to unite an impressive roster of super villains, including Penguin, Two-Face, and Harley Quinn, with a singular goal - to destroy Batman forever. The narrative is dark, intense, and filled with surprising twists, keeping players engaged till the very end.
In terms of gameplay, Batman: Arkham Knight introduces the Batmobile as a drivable vehicle, adding a new dimension to the series' signature gameplay elements. The game's combat system is fluid and satisfying, allowing players to feel the power of Batman with every punch and kick.
When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
