One Time Jokes

I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep

One time little Johnny was watching tiktok and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly,so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework and when he was done he saw a spill on the table,he went to the sink to grab a cloth but when he came back it was gone.He went to his mom's room and saw a drank with the lable daddy's drank so he drunk it and said it's daddy's he wont mind and all day he was like the flash so he went back turned the bottle around and it said speedy and then he said OH GREAT HEVANS.

this one time i said that john cena looks like crap but i realised i cant see him LOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

One time, I took my wife to the doctors. My wife had a severe migraine, and needed a medic. I waited for about 10 minutes. The doctor walked out with my wife in a wheelchair. "Due to your wife's broken hip, she may never walk again," said the doctor. "She had a migraine," I said. "Oh, we know," said the doctor.

So today is my birthday today am 13 but yesterday am going to turn 10.but am not even go to school to know the number ten becuase one time at 10 pm in the morning it was so cold in in my hot room so I want outside to drive my car to drive my car. But I stopped becuase the light turn green.i was talking a bath in the front of my car out it didn’t have bin so am taking a sh$t

one time in camp i kissed my bunkmate bret in the shower. he cupped my breasts and lathered them in prell, But im totally not gay.... :)

Anne Frank: this one time at camp. someone had to much gas

One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal. It got too out of hand and I got spanked

One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.

And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.

And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day

One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.

But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.

One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair

My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on EBay, The Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.

One time, a man got mad at me because i was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on man it was only a couple of bruises!

One time i looked out the window and then i saw my sister and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...

One time a crow saw a peacock and then wanted to be like a peacock so picked up peacock feathers and then wear them then he starts walking and everybody thinks he's strange and then his friends are not his friends anymore and then after that he says friends please be my friends again I'm sorry I will be the way I am

So one time I was with my girlfriend crazy right but we were doing a tictok eye fallow challenge and she pulled up a pick of where Stacy for in to the spider verse and I look some were I shouldn’t and she smacked me and I changed to the rock and you know where she looked wtf right in the no no square and since she was a girl all I could do was sit back and watch

One time an and was collecting food suddenly a wind and pushed the ant to the river the ant said help help and a pigeon heared it then he grab a leaf and throwed It in a river the ant climbed on it and then pigeon and the ant became best friends but one time a hunter came to kill the pigeon when the saw him she bites his leg and the pigeon flys away from the arrow and that's how friends are everybody

So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not) and Michael Jackson's song Billie Jean sounds like my name and so my mom says, as the song is playing, (my name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum. Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)