One time jokes

So one time this really rich guy’s son’s birthday was coming up. So he asks his son what he wants. So the son says, "Can I have pink ping pong balls?" The father asks why, and his son stays silent.

The dad decides to get it for him. The dad doesn’t see the son ever do anything with them. A year later the dad asked him what he wants. The son then says, "Can I have 10,000 pink ping pong balls?" The dad then responds with, "Son, why? I gave you some last year, and this whole year you did not play with them." The son, yet again, stays silent. The Dad was reluctant to do it but did it anyway.

Now a few years later, the son is now 20, and his rich dad and him have not seen each other in a while. So the dad decides to celebrate his son's birthday. He asks his son once again what he wants, and his son says, "Can I have 10,000 pink ping pong balls?" His dad screams, "SON, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THESE BALLS!!! I NEVER SEE YOU WITH THEM, AND YET YOU STILL WANT MORE. WHAT THE HELL!!!" The son, yet again, stays silent. The dad, though a little pissed, decides to buy as much of the pink ping pong balls that he sees and gives it to his son. The son is happy but does not do anything.

Now after a while, the son is about 30, and he and the father are more distant than ever. The father gets a call from a hospital telling him that his son could die from a disease that only 2 people survived. So the father goes there and starts crying and grieving. Then he asks his son what he would like before he dies. The son then says, "Can you buy me all of the factories that produce pink ping pong balls?" His dad doesn’t question because he is too sad to and buys him the only factory that produces pink ping pong balls. Then the doctors put him in a wheelchair and follow the dad, and they take him to one of the pink ping pong ball factories, and the dad says, "Okay, son, I fulfilled what you wanted. But what have you done, and what do you plan to do with all of these pink ping pong balls?" The son, ignoring the question, says, "This is magnificent. My final wish is that I stay here overnight."

So the doctors and the father decide to, and everyone goes home to sleep. The next day, everyone returned to the factory to find all the pink ping pong balls gone and the son. The father was sad but a little angry and decided to search his whole house to find pink ping pong balls but doesn’t find any, and they search the whole factory for the son and the balls. And soon they end up searching the whole earth and never found him.

One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.

I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"

I told my boyfriend one time when I was drunk that I like being raped. The next day, he comes over and says, "Want to have sex?" I said no. He was arrested two days later.

One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...

One time a girl was telling her boyfriend if she could have sex with him for just a little bit, and he said sure, so she just started having sex. She asked him if they could have a baby, but he said sure and started going hard. She told him she was joking, but he wouldn't get off. So she did the 69, and months later, she died, and he said he thinks he killed her with sex.

One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!

One time I tried running to home, but I forgot I don't have one, so I stayed at third.

So one time I was with my girlfriend, crazy, right? But we were doing a TikTok eye follow challenge, and she pulled up a pic of Gwen Stacy from Into the Spider-Verse, and I looked somewhere I shouldn’t have, and she smacked me, and I changed to the Rock, and you know where she looked? WTF, right in the no-no square, and since she was a girl, all I could do was sit back and watch.

One time, me and the bois got drunk and we were on the freeway...

...when the road was closed because a wild animal species named “The Cult” was on the loose.

One time I was watching TV.

Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!

Me: Omg, really?

Mom: Sike, I lied.

Fortnite is like America... At one time it was good and free. Now it's neither.

Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.

Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.

One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"

I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep.

One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.

"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"

How come Christmas is one time? Because it is so nice!

One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.

One time in camp, I kissed my bunkmate Bret in the shower. He cupped my breasts and lathered them in Prell, but I'm totally not gay... :)

One time I went to high-five someone. I've been left hanging ever since.