One time an ant was collecting food. Suddenly, a wind pushed the ant into the river. The ant said, "Help! Help!" and a pigeon heard it. Then, he grabbed a leaf and threw it in the river. The ant climbed on it, and then the pigeon and the ant became best friends. But one time, a hunter came to kill the pigeon. When the ant saw him, she bit his leg and the pigeon flew away from the arrow, and that's how friends are, everybody.
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
One time in the butt. Two times in the butt. Three times in the butt makes a slut hot and wet.
I always talk to my taco before I eat it.
One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!
One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.
Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"
I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.
How come Christmas is one time? Because it is so nice!
One time a girl was telling her boyfriend if she could have sex with him for just a little bit, and he said sure, so she just started having sex. She asked him if they could have a baby, but he said sure and started going hard. She told him she was joking, but he wouldn't get off. So she did the 69, and months later, she died, and he said he thinks he killed her with sex.
Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.
Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.
One time i saw a kid crying so i asked him where his parents were god i love working at an orphanage
One time, me and the bois got drunk and we were on the freeway...
...when the road was closed because a wild animal species named “The Cult” was on the loose.
One time my receipt broke before I even got to my truck.
One time there was a squirrel who died.
It was funny because the squirrel got dead.
One time, I was making a caramel apple.
When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!
One time you walked up to a mirror, but it’s shattered because of your reflection.
One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.
One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So, one time poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
this one time i said to a person that tehy are dry they i was wet (ba dum tiss) my bully said i have to shut up i said shut down (ba dum tiss)
One time my boyfriend and I were playing the tickle game and I tickled him on his thighs by accident, and I said, "Oh no, I am dead."
Then he started tickling me on my thighs up to my vagina, and then I moaned while laughing and told him, "STOP, please."
Then he said, "That's what I thought," and I was like, you cheated. He was like, "You first did it."
So he went to the restroom and pulled down his pants. Then I jumped on him and pulled his dick five times, and he screamed, and I quickly ran out and laughed. Then he ran to me, and I screamed, and he started eating my pussy and fingering me while I said, "Okay, okay, stop."
And he stopped and started sucking my boobs and giving me hickeys while I said, "Please stop," and then I pushed him off, and he turned me around and put his dick in my hole, and I said, "Owwwwwwww."
Then he said, "Play with me, I'll fuck you up."
I said, "Ughh," and slapped him.
