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What's the difference between a 14-year-old boy and an 8-year-old boy?

The 14-year-old is on top, the 8-year-old is on the bottom.

OK, there are at least 3 pedophiles in your neighborhood.

But there are no pedophiles in my neighborhood; there are only three 10-year-old girls with juicy asses.

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    • Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."

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    • Old man goes to the doctor.

    The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."

    The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"

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    • Yo mama so fat and old, she lifted her boob to wash under it, and a pilgrim fell from under it.

    My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That's a big word for a seven year old.

    A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"

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    • What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.

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    • A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"

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    • They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.

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    • As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.

    Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.

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    • What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.

    I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.

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