Old jokes

Dead baby jokes never get old...

Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.

What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.

Yo mama so old, she was in third grade with Moses.

What's the difference between a 14-year-old boy and an 8-year-old boy?

The 14-year-old is on top, the 8-year-old is on the bottom.

OK, there are at least 3 pedophiles in your neighborhood.

But there are no pedophiles in my neighborhood; there are only three 10-year-old girls with juicy asses.

What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?

Depends...

Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."

What did I eat for breakfast yesterday?

10 year olds.

Old man goes to the doctor.

The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."

The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"

Yo mama so fat and old, she lifted her boob to wash under it, and a pilgrim fell from under it.

My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That's a big word for a seven year old.

Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.

A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"

What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.

A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"

They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.

What's the best thing about abortion jokes?

They never get old.

What's the best thing about 28 year olds?

- There's 20 of them.

As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.

Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.