What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.
What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them
What do you call a 100-year-old frog? An old croak!
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were on a falling airplane. There were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world,” so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually there are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”
Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."
30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven. God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way. The first lady, she was obsessed with her looks, so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish. The next person didn't know what to wish for, so they wished for the same thing. The guy in the very back was laughing, having a grand old time. Then God got to the person before the last. He said the same, he wished to be beautiful. When God got to the last person, he said, "I want them all to be ugly again."
an old indian was buried on the side of a hill, what did he say.
nothing, he was dead.
my old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking thru a field of dead babies was.... his cock
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school and the teacher replies "are you that same person who took Jimmy?" the man replies "yes" and the teacher says "Take susie too she's being a little bitch."
Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street."
Steven Hawkings Sesh Cave, Entry 50p, Guaranteed Budweiser and Ectasy. Maybe A Gram of Heroin, You'll most likely see a mental 90 year old guy absolutely going mental on the dance floor with a Stella in one hand and another on his crotch.
What happened to the eight year old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church? The priest stopped him on the way there
"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"
How old r u....? I don’t give a shit stfu and get in ma van. “ NO NO NO” I’ll give u some candy.” Oh ok🤩” is crummy bears alright??
I had the worst day of my life, my 13 rear old EX got killed and I got fired from my job as a police guard, did I mention that we were in Syria?
What do Macdonalds and Priests both do? They both put their meat between 10 year old buns
What do most 50-year-old men put inside there cars
Children
My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.
One day an old women came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, i pushed her over.
