Octopus jokes

Octopussy.

What do you call an annoyed octopus?

Octopissy.

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What do you call an octopus whose father left?

An octopie.

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?

I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.

How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Tentacles!

Octopussy.

What does your mother look like after I had sex with her eight times? An octopus.

I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.

Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now.

But the vet charged me six quid.

Whet