Ocean jokes
What do you get when you goblin with a shark?
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says "What's wrong?" The woman says "I've never been hugged before." So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says "What's wrong, now?" The woman says "I've never been kissed before." So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says "Oh, for Christ's sake! What's wrong, this time?!" The woman says "Well, I've never been fucked before." So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells "YOU'RE FUCKED!"
I have a fish that can breakdance only for 20 seconds, and he can only do it once.
What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.
How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.
(everyone on Titanic) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, the ship will sink!!!!
(person washing hands) I'm using the sink, wait your turn!!!!!
(all crew members laugh) Hahahhahahahahah.
What's the difference between Mars and Africa? Mars has water.
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
3.14% of sailors are... π-rates.
What do sharks and humans have alike? The great white one.
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabytes.
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island, and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.
The redhead swam, trying to make it to the other shore. She swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.
The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
Yo forehead so big it receives more than the Pacific Ocean!
Why didn't the pirate want to play cards?
Because he was standing on the deck!
Who was not happy that the Titanic sank? The fish under it.
Your mom went to the ocean, and the whales said, "We are family," even though you are fatter than me.
The ocean didn't start smelling like fish until women started swimming in it.
How do you think the unthinkable? An iceberg.
What do mermaids put in the salads?
Sea cucumber.