Ocean jokes
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
Where do boats go when they get sick? The dock.
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
What comes up on small oceans? Microwaves.
I-I-I-I-I-I keep on hopin' we'll eat cake by the ocean, uh!
Yo mama so fat...
She's the iceberg who sunk the Titanic!
Yo momma so fat, whenever she goes to the beach, the tide comes in!
What do you call a fish without eyes?
A fsh.
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
What do Nemo and an orphan have in common? They can't find their parents.
What do you call a fish without an eye?
Fsh!
How did the shark do on his math test?
Jawesome!
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
American people: We will throw your teabags in the ocean!
British: At least our towers didn’t fall. 😎
What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?
- Kelp!
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"
How do you think the unthinkable? An iceberg.