Occupation jokes
Why do most orphans become prostitutes?
“Because they always wanted a daddy.”
Why do cannibals not like to eat clowns?
Cause they taste funny!
What do you call a gold digger?
A miner.
What do you call a magician that makes beer? Brew-dini?
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants.
The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?"
The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!
I'll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you're now worthless to me!
I'll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", and then put you in the oven for the bitch and me!
How did they know the teacher onboard the spaceship had dandruff?
Cause her Head and Shoulders were everywhere!
I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.
She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."
How do you make a juggler laugh? You tickle his balls.
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
What kind of person will steal Captain Hook's hook?
Answer: A hooker.
How are giants and strippers alike?
They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
What did the cow say to the prostitute?
Moo.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?
One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...
1st person: What do you call a blind pianist?
2nd person: What?
1st person: A pianist.