Numbers jokes
Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...
Why was 10 scared?
Because 9/11 came flying in.
So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"
So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.
Why was sis afraid of seven?
Cuz 7 ate 9.
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!
I will give you all the fine chicks you want. Just dial this number: 313-974- tap that ass from Hooters strip club.
Why is 10 so scared? Cause it was in the middle of 9/11.
Why did two fours skip lunch? They already ate.
The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.
Why were 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9. Then why was 10 afraid? Because it was between 9/11.
What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43? Floor 44 💀💀
Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?
You know how 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9? Well, 10 is afraid because he was in the middle of 9/11.
How would you multiply numbers in octoschool?
You octoply, obviously.
"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number three.
5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked if there was a number 5.
9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.
Why did the number 10 make friends with 0? Because you have $100 dollars.
I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."