Numbers jokes

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A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.

Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!

I will give you all the fine chicks you want. Just dial this number: 313-974- tap that ass from Hooters strip club.

The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.

Why were 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9. Then why was 10 afraid? Because it was between 9/11.

What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43? Floor 44 💀💀

Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?

You know how 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9? Well, 10 is afraid because he was in the middle of 9/11.

"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."

  • 2

    • 1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.

    2. You can't count your hair.

    3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.

    4. You just tried number three.

    5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.

    6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.

    7. You skipped number 5.

    8. You just checked if there was a number 5.

    9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.

    Why did the number 10 make friends with 0? Because you have $100 dollars.

    I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."

  • 3

    • Laila has 69 boobs, but that is 222 too many. One day, she went on 51st Street to meet Dr. X, who ate all her boobs, and now she's boobless :)

    6922251 x 8 = 55378008. Put the calculator upside down.

    Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly:

    "And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith's telephone number on the door of the girl's toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4."

    Type this in your calculator:

    5 days a week (type in 5),

    6 different classes (type in 6),

    7 hours a day (type in 7),

    x

    2 semesters (type in 2),

    =

    flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).