Numbers jokes
Why is 1026 afraid of 1028?
Because 1028 1029.
2 + 2 is 4, minus one, that's 3. Quick maths.
How did number 1 kindly make number 2?
I got my ass kicked, let's be friends?
How did number 1 kindly make number 2?
I got my was kicked, let's be friends?
What did one negative say to the other negative? Together we can make a positive.
What did the atom say to the positive in math class? "We could make a positive number!"
Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!
Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.
How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.
There's 10 kind of people in the world. Those who know binary and those who don't.
I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8.
I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.
4, 6, 8, and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 are the prime suspects.
6:30 is the best time on a clock... hands down.
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.
What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."