Now jokes

"Jasmine is gay, now THAT is a joke."

STOP THE FRICKING ORPHAN JOKES!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP THEM NOW! STOP THEM NOW NOW NOW N.O.W.

I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.

Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?

Treon: How did you find that?!

Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!

Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!

Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!

Treon: We can't!

Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?

Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?

Tyler: Pineapple

Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.

Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?

Frankie: Right now.

Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?

Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.

Tyler: I thought you never asked.

My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).

So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."

I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."

Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.

I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have a big dick and a very clean house. Add me now.

Snapchat: @colin_green21

"Roses are red, I'm a girl, Now go and take a hike."

Gwen: Prince, they told me you'd be crying back. What do you want?

Prince: Nothing...BUT CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER!?!??

Gwen: Sorry...BUT...I have a life to live now. I'm logging off this site and going to watch some TV. I'll be back in 1 hour, but we are done...DONE...DONE.

I cut my dick. It is all right now, and half the size but makes for excellent breakfast.

I killed a homeless dude, now she's at the funeral home. 😭💔

My wife is pregnant with a 3-year-old, so I gave her medicine, but now she’s pregnant with a 5-year-old.

There was an emo kid in their room, boom, they're all gone, now.

Ya know, genders are kind of like the Twin Towers.

There used to be 2 of them, but now it’s a touchy subject.

My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.

Last last, now everybody go chop breakfast.

"I’m going through a lot of things right now," I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.

I went into a forest with my sharp laptop with F13. Now I'm a real HACKER.

Jefferey Dahmer asked his husband a question.

His husband said, "What's your question?"

Jefferey Dahmer said, "You want to know what is my favorite type of tree?"

His husband said "Yes?"

Jefferey said, "Morning Wood, now take off your pants!"