Not jokes
Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?
Because they have a home room.
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.
Memes
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
What goes down but not up?
An emo.
Why could dinosaurs not talk? Because they were dead.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)
My grandmother made her passage on the Titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.
What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?
Search up biblically accurate angels.
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.
You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.
I made a website for orphans; it does not have home pages, though.
Guys, depression cannot be turned into a joke.
How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?
Not 15, as my basement's still dark.
Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.
Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.