Not jokes
Why did the orphan cry when he got back home?
Because he did not have one.
Why is it okay to bully an orphan?
It’s not like they could tell their parents.
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is not exploding.
Are you getting tired of life? Yes? Then call 180 go fuck yourself.
It's not our problem.com That's 180 go fuck yourself it's not our problem.com
Memes
What chips are you not allowed to give to orphans?
Family size.
How to not exist: Kys.
Your mom checked for your hairline, but she could not find it.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
"You may not rest, there are monsters nearby."
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
Who is not hungry in Africa?
A dead person.
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
My grandmother made her passage on the Titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.
Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
Why could dinosaurs not talk? Because they were dead.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)