Not jokes
"If all of these structures break we will all die."
And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"
And he said, "It would be breaking news."
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is not exploding.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
"You may not rest, there are monsters nearby."
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?
Doctor: Yep.
Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.
Memes
Are you getting tired of life? Yes? Then call 180 go fuck yourself.
It's not our problem.com That's 180 go fuck yourself it's not our problem.com
Why'd the girl fall off the swing?
'Cause she had no arms.
Knock, knock!! Who's there?
Not the girl.
Why did the orphan cry when he got back home?
Because he did not have one.
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
Why is it okay to bully an orphan?
It’s not like they could tell their parents.
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.
I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.
How to not exist: Kys.
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.
Not to mention and by plane.
Who is not hungry in Africa?
A dead person.
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.