Not jokes

Car

    • So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.

  • 0

    • Punishment

    • A man was in a courtroom. The judge said, "What should this man's punishment be?"

    A random guy yelled, "Off with his head!"

    The judge said, "He shall give head to every man in this room."

    The guy yelled, "Wait, that's not what I said!"

  • 6

    • Bar

    • Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."

  • 0
    • Not memes

    Chicken

    • What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.

    Ghost

    • Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?

    Harlem, New York.

  • 0

    • Celebrity

    • A famous celebrity admitted that she was non-straight, suffered from a rare condition that changed the colour of her skin, did not age well, only wanted to be compensated for her work in the 5th month of each year at her favourite store while laying down:

    TO GET FAYE'S WAY, PAY GRAY, GRAY, GAY FAYE WRAY IN MAY AND LAY HER DOWN AT "THE BAY". OK!!!

  • 1

    • Nun

    • Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."

  • 3

    • Underwear

    • One day you see a girl climb a pole and ask her, "Why are you climbing that pole?" "Because a boy paid me to." "He did that to see your underwear." "Oh. Ok."

    The next day you see her do the same thing. "Why are you doing the same thing?" "Well, I got him this time. I did not wear underwear."

  • 0

    • Prince

    • Dear prince,

    Gwen is dating Aiden! I can tell by the emojis! She does not like you or the way you talk to her, not one bit!

    P.S. She is and will always be dating Aiden! Leave a comment.

    Libertarian Party

    • Why is it that the Libertarian Party never had a formal president of the United States that ran as a Libertarian that had a presidential library?

    Because the Libertarian Party is the party of principle. The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971 and the Libertarian Party has not won a presidential election since 1972, because the Libertarian Party doesn't believe in using force to achieve political and social goals.