Not jokes
My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0
This is not a joke; this is just about death...
So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."
Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."
And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."
I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜
What is your car you cannot drive? A super flying car!
Friend: Do you think she likes me?
Me: Yah.
Friend: Really😀😀😀?
Me: Hell no.
Friend: 😥😓😫😭😭😭😭😭😭 You did not have to be so honest.
John Toberty is not funny.
What is not the definition of prostitution?
A dumb blonde that got money for babysitting. Does it cycle now?
What did the cell say when it was dividing?
"It's not you, it's me."
POV: You're an orphan.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your mom.
I am not a nerd ;). I'm just smarter than you.
"9/11 was not funny; it was plane wrong because my dad was the best fucking pilot in Jeddah."
"Hey man, what’s your name? Oh, my name is... Do your balls hang low? Can you swing it to and fro? Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow?"
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they cannot find home.
My hairline may be straight, but I’m not.
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
What’s Hitler’s favorite letter?
Not Z.
I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.
What is the difference between a human and a house? A human can walk, and a house cannot walk.
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!
What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"
This joke does not work in print, you have to speak it to someone.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Helen Keller.
Helen Keller who?
(Don't say anything).
Helen Keller who?
...you will get a laugh...ty.