Not jokes
A note for My arts/health teacher:
oh ms aziz, you've got no rizz, all she do is screams, whether u like it or not, she thinks this makes her hot, she thinks this makes her pop but it just makes me want to crack her head from the top, until she says STOP, and down on the ground she goes plop... and her screaming has finally stopped, and my plan hasn't flopped thus far.... plan B is ram her with my car, fill her shoes with tar, and the prahnas i'll set on her go RAWR... she don't know what she coming for.
Why can orphans not play bingo?
Because they can't get a full house.
I made an orphan website.
But it did not have a home page.
A joke: my life, hahahahaha! Wait, it's not funny.
What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?
Answer: Your right elbow.
Do NOT buy a tomato EVER again
I’m not calling you a slut, I’m calling you a penny.
Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone’s pants!
Why do cheetahs run?
Why not?
When Mother Teresa went to heaven, she was greeted by Saint Peter with a halo for her dedication to the needy. After walking around for a while, she saw Lady Diana with a bigger halo. She got angry at Lady Diana and went to Saint Peter and asked him why she had a bigger one, and Saint Peter said, "Oh, that’s not a halo, that’s a steering wheel."
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.
Leo must be a parking ticket... not because of the “fine” thing, nah, it’s because she’s OVERSTAYED her WELCOME.
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)
I would roast you, but I'm not supposed to burn trash.
Abortion is wrong because God wanted the baby to be alive.
Miscarriages are okay because God did not want the baby to be alive.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Not Sally, she doesn’t have any arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She doesn’t have any arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.
What can you not ride with two wheelchairs? A burger 🍔 one wheelchair.
It's the Olympics.
Q) Why did the man decide not to run in his race? A) Because of Olympiad.
Why did the orphan cry when he got back home?
Because he did not have one.
A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.