POV there’s a school shooting.
American: First time, European?
European: Yeah, you American?
American: No, not my first time.
Not Jokes
Being alive is so expensive, I am not even having a good time doing it.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.
When I was your age, we had Wacko Jacko, not Florida Man.
They say the first time doesn't work, third time's the charm. Ha, not!
Why do orphans not like cereal? Because their dad never came back with milk.
Why can't orphans go to Home Depot?
Because they do not have a home!
Uh, six teachers are annoying. Thank God I am not getting picked on at school or on this website.
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.
What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.
Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
Q: What do you call a blind German man?
Q: A not-see (Nazi).
Q: Why can’t orphans be criminals?
A: They are not wanted.
Why would a protestant refuse to become a catholic?
Because a protestant is not a homosexual sodomite.
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
