Not jokes
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
"Ur Grandma" You think you're funny? Well, sorry, but you're not.
A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."
What do you say to a bully?
I might not be perfect, but at least I'm not you!
I went to the “lists of women” page on Wikipedia and it was blank.
Either, Wikipedia is proving women do not exist or John Cena decided to come out as transgender.
Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.
TommyInnit said, "Long live the Queen." Look at where she's at now.
Why do orphans not play sport?
Because they need parents' permission.
This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.
The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.
The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”
The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”
"Knock, knock."
"Orphan: Who's there?"
"Not your parents."
Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):
"You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"
Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.
Why did the fire not burn the kid? Because it had no lips.
Germans be like, “Guten Morgan.”
Bitch, that's not my name.
People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.
Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.
It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.
The screams of the passers-by are enough for me!
I copied my friend's work. It's not like the teacher can tell my parents.
We should not stop orphan jokes. They're funny as fuck.
What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.