When they say you live by the sword you die by the sword, not in Paul Walkers case he lived by the car died by a tree well I guess the car was stumped
Uranus is larger than Neptune but Neptune is more massive/heavier. (Fact not joke also Neptune don't kill me)
Why did sally fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms.
Knock knock "Who's there?" Not sally
You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.
Just not for long!
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!Lol
Why cant orphans play gta beacause there not wanted
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can not helium, you have to curium. If you can not curium, you have to barium!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What does food and dark humour have in common? Not everybody gets it
Q.if i go 1 on 1 with Harvey weinstein i wont get raped A. im not a 14 yr old girl
A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says "God bless Mummy and God Bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Why is that?" The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, Grandad drops dead. The father can't believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter's prayers again. She says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn't know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn't go home and stays there until midnight. He's very surprised. 'I've cheated death!' he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, "Where have you been?!" and the husband says, "Oh don't ask me any questions, today's been miserable." The wife replies, "Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch..."
What is the difference between a school bully and a feminist?
The school bully does not hide behide there computer screen.
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there!" Not Suzy.
Depressed people have beautiful smile. Ok, its not joke for normal people, but its joke for us
I’m glad I’m not a pornstar... that would be pretty sucky
By the law you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
Who is not allowed to watch pg movies?
Orphans
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
