Not jokes

Not sure if domestic violence joke or penis size joke...

What do you call a school bus that you cannot drive?

A friend.

People who put jokes on here re: Depression are really not nice people, you yourselves are a fucking joke. 😩👎

Why does air not come down? I think gravity didn't like the Facebook page of air.

What is the difference between a magic house 🏠 and a human?

A magic house 🏡 can fly, but a human cannot fly.

What is the difference between a human and a magic car?

A magic car can fly, and a human cannot fly.

Kid: Dad, I want Santa to give me an iPhone.

Indian poor dad: Son, Santa is deaf.

Kid: No, he is not. I saw him on TV yesterday.

Indian poor dad: Oh, actually, I asked him for a new wife. Maybe he is wearing AirPods.

Kid: You are my Santa, daddy.

Indian poor dad: Pull down your pants, son.

Kid: It's not an Apple product.

Indian poor dad: It's a banana.

The kid that died is cut in half, and you see the next trap. It looks like a giant pit that you have to jump over, and you clear it, but you feel something on your back, and you realize that there is a spike that comes up when you jump over. You see the other contestant jump over. You try to warn them to not step over because they would get stabbed, but they ignore you and then get hit by the spike. The next obstacle is a wall that slams on a wall. You wait until the wall closes, and you quickly run through. The next person runs through, and they get to live.

Sorry, this is small. This is also a part two.

Just to get things straight, I'm NOT, I repeat, NOT racist, but this joke goes out to all the people who talk about other people with darker skin than the other person.

Bully: Your skin is so black and ugly (for the 5th time).

Me: I'm so happy you love my skin color!

Bully: Ew, no I don't!

Me: Then why do you keep talking about it?

One Tuesday afternoon, Little Jonny decides he wants extra homework, so he went to his teacher and said, "Hello, can I have extra homework this week?"

The teacher replied with, "Sure, be at my house Friday afternoon to cut my lawn, polish the counters, scrub the baseboards, scrub and paint the walls!"

And Johnny replied with, "That's not what I meant, but at least I'll get paid!"

The teacher said, "How about $200 each job?"

Johnny replied with, "OK."

Friday afternoon at her house, after Johnny does all the jobs, he asked for his payment and the teacher laughed and said, "You do know that Tuesday was April Fools' Day, right?"

Why did the rapist not get sentenced?

Because rule 69 said so 🤣🤣

Anyone who makes orphan jokes... STOP! It's rude and not even funny. GET YOUR BUTT OFF THIS SITE IF YOU'RE GONNA BE RUDE!

Me: Name all the planets.

Other person: Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Mercury, Uranus.

Me: Not my anus!

Types "I'm not a robot" on computer.

Son, we are geniuses!

Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?

Treon: How did you find that?!

Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!

Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!

Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!

Treon: We can't!

Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

How old is uuuuuurrrr mom?

Five.

Cringe.... I know that was a crap joke... not even a joke.

Hey, did you know that Stephen Hawking predicted the end of the world?

Well, not really. He predicted the end of *his* world.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because it's not original at all.

I was in a terrorist a famous terrorist group. No, not the Taliban. We called ourselves the Talabam.

Peyk 47 said that Kobe Bryant is not a legend, but he is.