Not jokes
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he had no BODY to go with!
Why does the cannibal village not exist anymore?
They all ate each other.
Period: Guess who’s back... back again...
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.
Bob, why are you kicking the kids?
What, it's not like they have a home to go to.
So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.
What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?
"You're too young to smoke!"
That's not even a bad joke-
A man walks into a bar. The man says, "Why the human face?" It's not funny at all.
Let's stop this, it's not funny. Oh wait, the orphans are all gone with nobody. 😂
The police: Pull over!
The kid: Do you know who my dad is?
The police: What, your mom did not tell you?
A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."
"Then how about Karaoke?"
To which he replied, "I have two left throats."
Lionel: Leona, please no more singing your annoying Fuzzy Bear song!
Leona: But I love my song, right Fuzzy?
Fuzzy Bear: I am going to bite you for not letting your sister sing my song!
*Fuzzy Bear bites Lionel*
Lionel: AHHHHHHH
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"
He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"
I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.
What do you call a not potty trained human?
Amber Heard.
Meant to say my friend's nan, not man.
Kid: Knock knock!
Orphan: Who's there?
Kid: Not your parents XD
Every 911 joke isn't that good.
Well, at least not until they come crashing down.
It's supposed to say "goes," not "goes."
People who are bothering Gwen, stop. This is a joke site, and you guys should know that!
People, she is not even 40 or whatever. I see the comments, and they are so stupid. Do you even know her in life? No!!! Shut up and leave her alone!