Not jokes

What is the same thing between water and dark jokes?

Not everyone gets it!

Your hairline is so back it's not even a hairline cuz you're bald. LOL

Your hairline is so far back that not even Tom Brady could throw that far.

Pro lifers: End abortion!!!

Pro lifers after school shooting: But not this abortion.

What's white but not black, and red all over?

J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.

A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.

What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?

Why was the orphan so successful? They said "go big or go home," but he could not do the second.

If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.

My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To eat Bob's arms.

Bob went to hospital and had no arms.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not Bob.

"What's the wifi password?"

"121i362"

"It's not working."

"What wifi are you trying to connect to?"

"The United Airline."

"We're in the World Trade Center, though."

Repeat after me...

Me: "You have a weird style."

Mom: "You have a weird style."

Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*

Quote Of The Day:

It's okay to struggle.

It's not okay to give up.

My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"

Which one's super super corny?

1. What's blue and not heavy? (🤔) Light blue.

2. What's blue and super hard to see?

Dark blue. (🤔)

Okay, I'm on my last nerve when people say "Water Shark Guy" and other things THAT ARE NOT MY NAME.

This is my name: watersharky!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because why not?

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.

Me: They're certainly not wrong.