Not jokes
I'm not counting, but I have some fingers for you.
My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
Your hairline is so back it's not even a hairline cuz you're bald. LOL
My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.
Pro lifers: End abortion!!!
Pro lifers after school shooting: But not this abortion.
Friend: Hi.
Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?
Friend: Me?
Me: Damn, no, not you.
Friend: Then who?
Me: The orphan kid.
I guess we're the same.
Why could you not see the guy in my dark closet?
The guy was black.
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they do not know where home is.
Why did the skeleton not go to the party?
Why can’t an orphan play GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
Your hairline is so long that your mother could not brush your hair.
I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.
Why didn't the orphan play video games with his friends?
Because his parents wouldn't let him.
Why did the terrorist not go undercover?
Because he blew it!
I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
Quote Of The Day:
It's okay to struggle.
It's not okay to give up.
A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."