Not jokes
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Clearly not their parents."
What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?
He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.
Why do emo kids not get phones? Because the phone dies before them.
Dark jokes are just like food.
Not everyone gets it.
Not even the FBI knows where an orphan's parents are.
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?
I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.
Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.
What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?
A KIDNey!
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a truck.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not a poo, you're a poo.
I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.
I keep going back and forth on them.
Jesus was the one who created the T pose, not Fortnite.
Why are cheetahs not good at hiding?
They’re always spotted!
Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.