Not jokes

I was submitting this joke, and I realized Stephen Hawking couldn't.

It had the reCAPTCHA "I'm not a robot."

If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."

My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."

So I said, "Okay."

What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.

I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."

"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.

Why are cops worried about drunk drivers and not elderly drivers?

What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?

A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.

This is supposed to be worst puns but most of them are not puns.

What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?

A foreign exchange student.

Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?

Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Not the two Twin Towers.

It would be pretty funny if something that's not a joke was the most liked thing. It would be pretty funny, I think, lol. Just a little funny, lol.

When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."

*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵

Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."

1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.

2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!

3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.

4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.

5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.

Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.

If you get offended, leave. How did you even find this website, just to make people feel bad?? No.

You are seriously the stupid one here. Also this is not a joke, but the people that do this are.

What did God say to the black person?

"Oops, I burned one."😳

Not racist, just funny.