Not jokes
Have you read "50 Yards to the Outhouse" by Willie Makeit and Probly Not?
Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?
He was not worth keeping.
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
You have an entire life being an idiot, why not take a day off?
Sans: Pap, your spaghetti is bonearific.
PaprUs: Sans, no. Aw, your funny bone is not working; come on, that one was a rib tickler.
Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."
Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents.
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.
9: I am higher than you.
8: No, you're not!
(8 flips to his side)
Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"
Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"
The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"
Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."
The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”
A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.
What could've the Towers done to not start 9/11?
Call 911.
Why did Germany win World War Two? Wait—that's not right... um... excuse me while I look up who won the war...
*disconnected*
To all my bullies: don’t call me gay because I’m not happy.
Why could the zombie not clap? Because it was dead, duh!
Once Jimmy was minding his own business, then he hears his mom come home. He asked, "Where have you been?" She replied with, "I was at work," yet he knew his mom did not have work. So the next day, while heading to school, he gets a phone call saying his mom is pregnant, and they want to try their device, and they need the baby's dad to say if it's alright.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.