Not jokes

What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?

"Does this come with anything?"

Why are cops worried about drunk drivers and not elderly drivers?

If you have a friend that will not leave you alone about something, just simply tell them: "If you watch something, have you ever thought that you're in a movie when you watch a movie?"

This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.

How do you turn a cat into a fish?

Tell your girl not to wash down there.

Why do disabled people not like comedians?

Because they do stand up.

I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.

BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?

What do Hiroshima and Herobrine have in common?

They're not heroes.

What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?

A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.

Not funny joke.

If you get offended, leave. How did you even find this website, just to make people feel bad?? No.

You are seriously the stupid one here. Also this is not a joke, but the people that do this are.

Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”

I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it’s working fine!

Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.

Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.

What did God say to the black person?

"Oops, I burned one."😳

Not racist, just funny.

What does an iPhone have that orphans do not?

Home buttons.

When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."

*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵

Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."

Why was the emo mad?

The picture got hung, not her.

It would be pretty funny if something that's not a joke was the most liked thing. It would be pretty funny, I think, lol. Just a little funny, lol.