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News jokes

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Rapper

TaylorSwiftBoat · 1 year ago

Bro how are my favorite rappers gonna make good music if they can’t pop PERKIES

A news article from The New York Times with the headline "E.P.A. Bans Cancer-Causing Chemicals Used in Dry Cleaning". The date is Dec. 9, 2024, 7:26 a.m. ET. It shows an image of a person working in a dry cleaning facility.

Child

Wade · 2 years ago

It’s finally happening…

A picture of a Chuck E. Cheese sign with a news headline saying, "5 children have gone missing inside a Chuck E. Cheese. Parents report smells coming..."

Tweet

Cosmo idk · 1 year ago

Drake

RapBoat · 2 years ago

Chat is this real??

A picture of Drake in a jacket with a circular inset image of Shaq. Text on the image reads "NEWS", "DRAKE CALLS OUT SHAQ TO A TICKLE FIGHT WITH NO CLOTHES ON" and "Betting odds are at Drake -250 & Shaq +175"

Mort

God Pt.2 · 3 years ago

I’m running out of ideas 4 a title

A Google search result shows the query "who started the syrian civil war" and the result is "Mort, Ruthless dictator" with pictures of Mort from the animated movie Madagascar

Cookie

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a group of soldiers in military gear, with one soldier aiming a rifle around a corner. Below this image, there is a news banner that reads, "Breaking News. Live. Due to a decrease in cookie sales, the Girl Scouts switch to a more aggressive sales campaign."

Shooting

XCVHJhgfghjhgsghjuehdj23456789 · 3 years ago

Ohio BRUH

A news report with the headline "Columbus I-71 Shooting Suspect Was Upset His Pet Duck Flew Away - Delaware Ohio News" and a mugshot of the suspect above. The text "BREAKING NEWS - SHOOTING SUSPECT SPEARS FROM JAX" is displayed on a red banner.

Search result

R3Y · 2 years ago

I FAMOUS NOW GUYS

A screenshot of a Google search result for the term "TheUsedFleshlightConnoisseur." The search results include links to worstjokesever.com and an Instagram post by rufuswainwright.

Bro

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡 · 3 years ago

Bro looks like his mom dropped him when he was a new born

Resignation

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A tweet from BCC News shows the text "BREAKING: Following his resignation, Boris Johnson has escaped to the sea." Below this text is an image of Boris Johnson running into the ocean on a beach.

Artist

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows two parts. The top part contains a news article stating "Original artist behind the toy car town play rug dies at age 97", alongside a photo of an elderly man and a picture of a toy car play rug. The bottom part shows a green Pepe the Frog with teary eyes, saluting.

Anger

Wade · 2 years ago

This explains a lot

An image of a cartoon rabbit with a broken ear and a dark face standing in front of a blurred fire with the text “BREAKING NEWS” and “MAN LITERALLY TOO ANGRY TO DIE”.

GTA VI

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A person holds a blue plastic handheld water ring toss game, which features cartoon fish and an octopus in a water-filled screen. The screen also contains small colorful rings. The text overlaid on the image, presented as a news headline, reads: "NEWS. GTA VI WILL NOT BE RELEASED ON THE WATER RING TOSS HANDHELD." Below this headline, smaller text says: "My favourite handheld...".

Cause

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Google search with the query "cause of the great london fire". The first result shown is "Great Fire of London / Cause" and below it is the answer "Fire".

Racism

Anonymous · 3 years ago

A Google search page with the query "who started racism" showing results for Shrek, a film franchise. Three images of Shrek are displayed below the text.

Arrest

Daddy dick · 3 years ago

Repost from my friends account

A picture of a news report at night, with police and firetrucks visible. On the right, a mugshot of Ian, the person who was arrested. The text reads: Breaking news. Ian arrested for breaking into homes and tickling butthole!

9/11

Anonymous · 3 years ago

A screenshot of a Google search result for "who committed 9/11". The result shows Kanye West, labeled as an American rapper, along with two photos of him. At the bottom of the image the text "Scott Dudelson/FilmMagic" is visible.

Music

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A news headline reads "KSI threatens to release new music" displayed over a photo of KSI and two other men.

Florida Man

tabs1528 · 2 years ago

The image shows a news report with the headline "Florida Man Disguises Himself in Bull Costume as He Tries to Burn Down Former Lover's House With Pasta Sauce". Below the headline is a picture of a man with dark hair and a slight beard. Below the man's photo, the screen shows the text "Men Use Spaghetti Sauce in Burglary Plot, Deland, Volusia County."

Tucker Carlson

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A meme shows a conversation where one person asks their mom for "Tucker Carlson", but the mom says they have Tucker Carlson at home. The bottom panel shows a person resembling Tucker Carlson with a banner that reads "CUCKER TARLSON", in the style of Fox News.

Media jokes
Press jokes
Current events jokes
Breaking news jokes
Newspaper jokes
Dark Humor