Newness jokes
Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?
Because it had no home button.
Why are people from New York so bad at chess?
Because they quickly lose two towers (rooks).
Who are the fastest readers in the world? New Yorkers. They went through 110 stories in under 10 seconds.
Dad: Hey, have you seen that new movie, "Constipation"?
Son: No.
Dad: It hasn't come out yet.
My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.
Why were the Twin Towers afraid of the New York Jets?
Because they are afraid of the jet.
Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.
I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone, and a dog nearby barked and ran away. Now I'm still looking for that dog to unlock my phone.
You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.
You learn something new every day.
Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.
Have you ever been to the new Disney park called SawCon?
SawCon deez nutz!
What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:
Here comes the airplane.
It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.
None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.
In the new Justice League movie, Flash can break glass by touching it, why is that?
Because Flash is not supported on Windows.
A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.
"My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"
And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.
"WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"
And so he did.
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence!
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the concert?
Because he wanted to reach new heights in his performance.
I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.
What time is it when you cannot do anything?
His new music video has been leaked. It’s called “Living in a Tree.”