What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
Newness Jokes
Jesse: Do you like my ball?
Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?
Jesse: No, they do not leave me.
"My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104."
Check out my new song. It’s called “Nlggas in the hood,” and it’s really good, so go listen.
I bought a new camera once. Every shot I took was killer!
Why did Gwen go to the store? To have a new.
They said that new Juice WRLD album was shakin' good....
Did you hear Stephen Hawking has a new book out?
It's about time!
New.
How did the hamburger know he needed new pants?
His buns were too tight.
Did you hear about the new drink commemorating Princess Diana?
It had nine shots and seven chasers!
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.
What NFL teams parts with James Charles!?
Green Bay Packers & New England Patriots
I love you, my new phone! 📲
Why was 6 afraid of 9?
Because 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!
I'm doing a new thing where you say an object in the comments, and I will try to make a joke based off the object.
If you are interested, you can submit an object in the comments.
I will give the person credit each joke I do.
Marriage is like buying a car. You see one that you like and then you buy it. But over the years, it gets older, rusty, and certain parts stop working.
Then you walk into a dealership and look at all the new ones and you're still stuck with the old one. You look over and go, "But I just wanna sit in it. Just once. It's even got leather interior, it's chrome, it doesn't even have oil or gas leaks! And it doesn't squeak!"
My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.
My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."
What did I say to my friend? "Job, your new name is Jojo Siwa."
