Worst Jokes Ever
I wish you were a soap, because I want you all over me.
What did the toaster say to the bread?
"I want you inside me!"
What is the difference between hungry and horny?
The cucumber goes to different places.
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?
Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.
Mom: Can you hear them?
Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.
Mom: Why do you think that?
Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.
So this is how I got divorced.
On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!
This is how I got [redacted]
I just
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
What is worse than ants in your pants? Michael Jackson.
Bro used the quadratic formula to calculate the velocity of your -234 going down hairline.
Why are orphans so happy on Christmas? Because they might get a family.
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
Your hairline goes as far back as the cavemen. Your forehead is also as deep as the cave.
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home plate is.
What do you call an autistic My Little Pony?
Twilight Special.
Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.
It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they just sit and cry in the dark.
Q: What is Germany's favorite board game?
A: Nahtzee (Yahtzee).