Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.
Worst Jokes Ever
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.
I call it my trail mix.
eBay is so useless.
I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.
Wife: “How do I look?” Husband: “With your eyes.”
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
Oops!
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,
"Please send me a sibling!"
Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
Idaho... Alaska!
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.
Like if depressed.
Why was the first orphan phone an iPhone X?
Because it doesn't have a home button.
What do you call Helen Keller after she killed 10 people?
Helen Killer.
Yo mama so Karen that when she went to hell, she asked Satan for the manager.
What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?
They always getting hit.
Why can't orphans have a large bag of chips? Because they're family sized.
Person: You can't kill an orphan!
Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?
Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?
Sans: What do you call them?
Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!
What did Joe Biden say to the dog? I'm gonna molest you.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball, guu?
What are Africans composed of?
99% Coca-Cola.
