Worst Jokes Ever

What came before the dinosaurs?

Your hairline, because it's so far back!

If you measured your hairline with a protractor, it would show 90 degrees.

When you're born on 4/20/69...

The dear God created the man.

Then he created woman.

When he then saw what he had done, he took care of tobacco and alcohol.

Yo mama so poor, she used a KFC bucket as a rain hat.

If I measured your forehead, it would be 100,000,000,000,000,000 miles long.

Your hairline and forehead must be friends, because they go way back further than the universe.

If you tried to look at your hairline in a mirror, it would shatter into 100,000,000,000 pieces.

Teacher: "What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?"

Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children."

What’s the difference between Diana and Casper the ghost?

Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.

What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?

Diana can't stop either.

I am sorry, but the joke is in Urdu, which I cannot process. Please provide the joke text in English.

What is red and puts out fire?

I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.

As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?

How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?

'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.

Did you all hear about the newest gay celebrity couple? Yeah, John Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzjohn.

True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.

This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."

Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.

There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."

What was OceanGate's biggest regret?

Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.