Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a pizza?
Anthony Cahill's face!
Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.
I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note... it's a start...
Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?
Museum girl: Committing suicide.
Allan: What about Friday night?
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."
What do you call a pool full of white people?
Kix.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart."
The bartender responds, saying "Oh" sympathetically. "Sucks to be you!" the bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.
What’s red, nine inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?
Her abortion.
That joke and paper have one thing in common: they're both tearable.
What's a person in a wheelchair's favorite sport?
Jousting.
Why did the baseball player get arrested? He tried to steal third.
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
Girls Are Yummy Stupid
Are Really Erectable
Tasty Honey Ejaculable
Booty Everything Sucking Titties
Gays don't be mad, read the first letter of every word :D
Why couldn’t the house see?
The blinds were down.
What do you call a blind author?
A Braille writer.
Davin is a pedo.
What do you call a club that owls go to?
Hooters.
My jokes are cancer.
Person: I'd really like it if you'd stop saying my name all the time.
Random Person: Cheesus! That hurt!
Person: SERIOUSLY!?!?