Worst Jokes Ever
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
One time there was a squirrel who died.
It was funny because the squirrel got dead.
Timmy goes to the doctor and says, "There's a crack in my butt, doctor." Timmy, there is a crack in everyone's butt, see?
What's great about having sex with twenty-eight year olds?
There's ate of them.
My wife was going to have an abortion and I have cancer.
Ha Ha Ha
I thought it was funny.
What's the hardest part of eating vegetables?
The wheelchair.
Why was the staircase so sad?
Because everyone walks on them.
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
What did your mom get for Christmas?
A big black horse dildo.
9/11.
I have a trombone.
When I'm sad, I cut myself...A PIECE OF CAKE!
I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
The only thing I do straight is vodka.
Lorne Armstrong
What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?
A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.
I impaled my son with a pitchfork...
He looks very sharp.
My cock was in the book of world records...
The librarian told me to take it out.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt-quack.
There was this man, and he forgot about his wife's birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up, she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale.