Worst Jokes Ever

How do you poop?

Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.

The world's funniest joke? Your life.

Why is it called a building if it's already built?

There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.

The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.

What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?

I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.

I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.

Why did Trump decide to build the wall?

Because China built a wall and they do not have any Mexicans.

Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?

Woman: No, really?

Man: Well, the one I fucked did...

How do you make Holy Water?

Get regular water and boil the devil out of it.

Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"

I said, "On a stove!"

Fucking Windows updates!

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?

Both of their legs don't work.

How did Steven Hawking die?

His wife needed a charger and plugged him out.

A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."

Did you hear the pickle joke?

It's actually a really big dill.

A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."

Friend: How dark is your humor?

Me: It picks cotton.

Are you beef?

Because you're Carlos-Asada.