Worst Jokes Ever

What did the boy say to the girl? "Damn! You pissy, stank!"

What did the dalmatian dog say after he finished his meal?

"That hit the spot?"

How does NASA organize their parties? They planet.

A man with 20 dollars walked into Dave & Buster's. He went to the bathroom to wash his hands. He walked out without any clothes but still has his money.

What's the difference between depression and a girl?

XXXTentacion can't seem to beat depression.

I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend. I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!

The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.

How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!

What does Stephen Hawking have in common with a bull? They both charge.

Are you guys alright?

If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.

(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)

Why did Vladimir Putin get bad grades? -- Because he was Russian.

I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.

I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter. It was pretty grate.

What do dairy products praise? Cheeseus.

What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it’s the "R," but it’s actually the "C".

What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"

I have a son. Her name is Zara.

I also have a dad. Her name is Lydia.

When I get naked in the bathroom... the shower usually gets turned on!

I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!