Worst Jokes Ever
Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.
My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.
I should put a little more backbone into them.
I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"
What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?
~they're both a dick in a box.
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
The reason he died is that they accidentally flipped the wrong light switch.
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
A man was mowing his lawn when blue and red stuff came out instead of grass. Next thing he knew, a smurf was on his shoulder asking if he’s seen his friend.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
There are more than 2 genders.
What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?
A kindergarden.
For his sake, I hope that heaven is wheelchair accessible...
What do you call two Mexicans in a sleeping bag?
A Twix.
A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
You do not spell "computer" like this; you spell it like this: "cumputer."
If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender said, "Why the long face?"
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it.
Doctor: "I have good news and bad news."
Guy: "What's the bad news?"
Doc: "They replaced your toe with a piece of candy."
Guy: "Good news?"
Doc: "You now have tic tac toe."
One day Johnae said, "What do you call a family outing?"
"Incest."
Low key Johnae fucks Kirby and Peach.