Worst Jokes Ever
A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."
Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.
Jacob has a small penis.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face as you climax.
Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
Geology rocks!
pussi
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a BMW in my garage.
What’s a peedophile’s favorite shoes? White vans.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Two cows are standing in a field.
Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?
Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter.
Lol.
My grandfather had the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot.
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.