Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama is so ugly, the sunglasses walked away.
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
A son walks up to his dad and says, "Dad! I just had sex for the first time."
The dad goes, "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?"
The son says, "I can't sit right now, my butt is very sore."
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
What do you call a blonde?
A piss-head.
How do you get a hippie chick pregnant?
You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice. I called it "cold hard cash."
What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?
I don't know. I suffocated at birth.
A panda walks into a bar. He asked the bartender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him, then leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “Why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “It’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia, and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.
If you park your tow truck on the footpath, it'll get towed.
Poop.
Yo mama is so slow, they had to wait six hours for the crane to finally show up.
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
Eggs
You crack me up!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, it's just a joke!
kanker
What's the difference between leafmen and leafwomen? Palm trees.
Once a cheetah, always a cheetah.
Actually, it isn't a bear joke, but bear with me here...
What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?
"I'd hit that."