Worst Jokes Ever

Where do you go when Steve Hawkins dies?

Microsoft.

Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got to see either of them, and they are now extinct.

I wanted to get brain surgery.

I changed my mind.

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he Neverlands!

What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.

My memes are ironic, but my depression is chronic.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?

I care when my computer crashes.

Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.

Well, it really do be like it shouldn't, but it is.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? Hot wheels.

Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

What did the cow tell an Indian?

Moo!

What did the Indian say to the cow?

I lowe you, moo than anything.

Why did the Indian cross the road?

To run away from the Pakistani.

Yo mama so hairy, you got carpet burn when you were born.

What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him for a drag.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a tap?

The tap can run.

Cats are like onions; when I cut them, I cry.

How did the blind girl get a date?

She said it was love at first sight.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you haven't told her twice.