Worst Jokes Ever
Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?
A: Look in a mirror.
What's the difference between putting a baby and a pizza in an oven?
The pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
Robyn Olive in 10.
Eli Tremain.
Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh f-i-s-h (and the eye).
What does America say?
A-marry-ca!
What do you call a retarded three legged doggo heckin pupper monster? A 1996 Dodge Neon with a broken tail light cover and 166,748.46 miles on the odometer.
It could use a tune up and it needs a new transmission soon. New rear tires and a new radiator. Test drives with cash in hand. HMU motivated seller. Don’t waste my time and no lowballs.
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
I hate these double standards.
If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
Have you seen the movie "Constipation"?
It hasn't come out yet.
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
A man lost his left arm.
He's all right now.
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the Statue of Liberty? The statue stands for something.
What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.
What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.
What's the difference between a plane and a woman?
At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.
What’s the hardest part about f...ing toddlers?
My boner.