Worst Jokes Ever

How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian?

The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.

Sixteen Sodium particles walk into a bar, followed by Batman.

Why can't orphans play catch?

Because they don't have parents to catch the ball.

Where does Stephen Hawking go when he breaks his arm? PC World.

What's red, white, and blue and crawls up your leg?

A homesick abortion.

A knife is like hallucinations, both in your head.

Q: What's the difference between me and cancer?

A: My dad didn't beat cancer...

My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.

My neighbor is like my marriage. They're both in the hole.

Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.

One hot day a cow wanted some shade.

He found a tree and started resting under it, but there was a chicken bothering him. The cow exclaimed, "Moooove!" The chicken didn't move. Again, "Moooove!" and still the chicken wouldn't move. The cow yelled, "MOOOOOVE!" The chicken turned around and said, "FUCKOFF."

I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.

What do you call a pool full of retards?

Vegetable soup.

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud.

Hippity hoppity, Hiroshima, Nagasaki.

Did Jesus die a virgin?

Of course not, he got nailed before he died!

Why did the penguin pull out a tooth? It was Mexican.

Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.

Ghanshyam.

What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?

Abo-lanche.