Worst Jokes Ever
What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shelfies.
A man and a cow walk into a McDonalds, and the man walks up to the front counter and says, “I’d like one beef burger.” The employee of McDonalds said, “Sure thing sir, also I really like to see your cow, may I bring him into the back room really quick to show my co-workers?” The man says, “Sure.” The employee takes the cow into the back room. A couple minutes later, the employee came back with his burger. The man took a bite of it, and realized his cow was gone.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
He wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
What was Jim Jones' favorite drink?
Killer Kool-Aid.
Stephen Hawking is not dead; he just needs to charge.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Licka-lotta-puss.
Chuck Norris once ran all the way around the equator and kicked himself in the back.
I like my women like my cigars: smuggled in from Cuba in a sack.
What's a rapist's favorite scale?
C Minor.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ligma. Ligma who? LIGMA BALLS!
Kyle's penis is small.
You don't need a license to drive a sandwich.
Aj died in a bar.
The end.
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the first knock knock joke?
He won the No Bell Prize!
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
Did you know that when pigeons have sex, they die?
Really?
Well, the one I fucked did.
Wanna hear a joke?
Yeah.
...
What's the joke?
I said it already!
Stroke victims are my heroes.
My favorite is Louis C.K.
What does the blind, deaf child get for Christmas?
Cancer.