Worst Jokes Ever
A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian responds with, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
Abortion is not a joke.
Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!
Yo mama so smelly, she’s even banned from the perfume store!
Yo mama is so stupid, she had to retake preschool 20 times!
Yo mama is so smelly that whenever she steps outside, she pollutes the air!
The more suicidal people there are, the fewer suicidal people there are.
I was going to walk to Verizon, but I decided to Sprint over to T-Mobile instead.
billie: hi.
me: You wanna hear a story?
billie: Yes, sure.
me: Once upon a time, I ran over your dog last night.
What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.
How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.
How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.
What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"
Why does the Sun go to school?
To get brighter!
Why does the Sun go to school?
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
You know bins????
They're trash!
What do you call a mosquito in your language?
We don't call them, they just come and bite.
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
How Stephen Hawking died: he drove too far away from the wall and the cord got unplugged.
Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?
Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."